your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
