So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize