saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
