I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
