U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
