Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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