I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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