There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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