perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
