make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
