Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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