I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you never un-have a 4some
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
