He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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