guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
