She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
