We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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