If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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