That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize