Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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