I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
