Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize