How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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