why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I look better un-naked...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
