I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
