no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
