Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
