at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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