Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
