I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
