So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
