I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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