THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
