Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
