i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
