i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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