i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
