you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize