Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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