You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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