Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
