Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
