I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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