i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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