Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
