So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
