we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
