Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just threw up on my dentist
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
