When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize