just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize