I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
