There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
