I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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