Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
