South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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