Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
