O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
