"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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