Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
