is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
