I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
