I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't think brook has ever known best
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
