It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
