I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
